Finding out that you’re pregnant can bring a lot of emotions, and telling your parents may be especially difficult. You may be worried about how they will react or what they will think. While there is no perfect way to have a conversation, preparing ahead of time can make the conversation a little easier and less stressful.
- Think About What You Want To Say
Before talking to your parents, take some time to think about what you want them to know. You can write down ideas in a notebook or the notes app on your phone. Be honest with yourself and write down all your feelings. Remember, just because you write it does not mean you have to share it. Journaling can simply help you vent and express your emotions. You do not need to have all the answers before talking to your parent(s).
- Choose the Right Time
Try to choose a time when you and your parents can talk privately without being rushed or interrupted. A calm and comfortable setting can make it easier for everyone to focus on the conversation.
- Be Honest and Direct
When you’re ready, tell your parents what is happening clearly and honestly. Even though it can be hard, try your best. You could start by saying that you have something important to talk about, but that you need understanding and listening. It is normal to feel anxious about telling them, but don’t be afraid to ask for their support.
- Don’t Assume How They Will Feel
Projecting negativity won’t help you or them. Allowing yourself to spiral into overthinking can worsen your anxiety and your ability to speak with clarity and confidence. Go into the conversation with an open mind and the mindset that you don’t know how they will react and that their response is out of your control.
- Remember That You Can’t Control Their Reaction
Your parents may respond unpredictably, whether that be with anger, worry, etc. Their first reaction may not be how they feel after they have time to process the information. This is a big event, and it is understandable that they may react emotionally. They are human, and they may need time to process their own emotions in order to have a calmer conversation. Allowing them this time to digest the information allows them to understand that their feelings may change. Avoid overthinking and analyzing their initial reaction.
- Give Them Time to Process
Your parents may need some time before they are ready to have a longer conversation. Give them the opportunity to process what you have told them. You can tell them that you’re willing to talk and that they can ask questions.
- Listen To Their Concerns
Your parents may have additional questions and concerns regarding your future. Listen to what they have to say, even if you do not agree with everything. By allowing an open conversation, you can understand their concerns and learn how to move forward.
- Set Respectful Boundaries
You’re allowed to have your own thoughts and feelings about what happens next. If you disagree with your parents, you can explain your perspective respectfully. Setting boundaries does not mean being disrespectful, it means that you have the right to privacy and respect.
- Think About What Comes Next
You do not have to figure everything out in one conversation, as your situation is nuanced and there may be other factors to consider. After you have told your parents, you can take things one step at a time and look for trustworthy adults and reliable information to help you understand the resources and options available.
If it goes well, thank them for their love, support, and understanding. If not, know there are others you can count on. Either way, check out your local pregnancy resource center, and our womendeservebetter.com helpsite with hundreds of answers, tips, and links to sources of help.
- Be Kind to Yourself
Telling your parents that you’re pregnant can be a difficult situation, but you do not need to have every answer. Being prepared, honest, and respectful can create a positive and productive conversation and can help you move forward with clarity. You got this!
By Margot Grad
